K this one is for you Raven Gates since you requested a new one=)
Drama, a part of our human existance here on earth. I was unfortunate enough to be born in to a family full of drama. I mean not know who my biological father is at the age of 20, you can only imagian how my childhood and teenage years went. I have always had to deal with drama because I have "crazy family" and I guess in a way we all do but I have grown to realize just how not normal my drama was. However, I will not get into that. The past is the past and for that I am so thankful. I use to have so many voids in my life, in my heart but God has lovingly and creatively found a way to fill them all. I have such a wonderful support system now, such wonderful friends and church family. I am truely blessed. And another thing I have noticed is that the craziness that was my life, all the drama and the fights and the he said she said stuff. Gone. well not fully but the closer I grow to my Heavenly Father, the more I center my life around him, the more normal my life gets, the more content I am with all the people he has given me. True, you cant pick your biological family but thats the beauty of the Cross. Through Christ we have an amazing family! and amazing suppost system! Now don't get me wrong I still get my drama fix by secretly watching Mob Wives on VH1 but other than that I seem the be mastering the art of letting things role off my back like water on a duck=P and I think you can to oh wonderful reader of my blog=) Even the world says drama is normal God says he can shield you! He can make your life better and he can show you a way of life you never deamed of, put people in your life you never imagined=) You should try it! Its done wonders for me=))) and here is a drama easying quote that might help you wether you are dealing with friendship drama, relational drama, or a Dramatic mother ;)
"People are in your life for either a reason, a season, or a life time"
Friday, June 17, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
"Break My Heart for What Breaks Your's"
Well...This year by fare has been one of the worst years of my life. I am not sure I have ever experienced so much pain, heart ache, and let down as I have this year. I know we all have our trials, this year just so happens to have been a very long one for me. After a devastating break up I took a vow to singleness for a year in hopes of learning how to fill the void in my heart with God's love. It may sound easy, but coming from the past I have and suffering from a "daddy hole" It has been a most difficult task. Along with the loneliness I have felt I have lost two jobs, been some what homeless, and have had major financial and academic problems with school. I have met so many wonderful new friends and have had so many of them let me down. I still struggle with old feelings of worthlessness although they come fewer and father a part for the most part. I have completely changed my way of life. I have this crazy craving to dive into scripture and read all the books I can that any one recommends for spiritual growth. I have found a deep desire to be a servant of God with a soft spot for homeless and the incredible poor. Through all the heart ache I am starting to wonder if God breaks our hearts so that it is open for His love to poor in. The more heart ache I experience the closer I feel to him. I more I am reminded that his world is not my home. Maybe we aren't meant to be at peace in this life and maybe for some who are even totally devoted followers and servants this life will not get any easier, we will never find that happiness we long for until we are face to face with our creator. So maybe I can be thankful and even seek refuge in the bad times that cause the tears to stream down my face at night, because in those times I can know God, I can see His grace I can feel His embrace and I can hear his whispers. I feel honored to be the one chosen for the life that I have. and I want My heart to be broken...For what breaks his.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Whales and The Judgment
So lots of thought provoking things occurred this weekend.
First, the Chris Tomlin concert. One word. Powerful. I was reminded how powerful the human voice is when we allow our souls to open and freely flow and pore out cries of praise to our Almighty, All POWERFUL God. Christ mentioned that last night, we were one church, which I also felt powerful. He said we were "a mixture of flavors" all combining to be one powerful church in powerful worship. I liked that alot. Usually these days when someone asks what I am I simply say "a follower of Jesus Christ." then they say "no I mean what church do you do you go to?" and I say "well the church is the people, so I guess who ever I am with" which of course is not the answer they are wanting but it is true, isn't it? Growing up in a legalistic C.O.C. maybe I have a chip on my shoulder towards donminationalism. It erks me. but anyy whooo, that's a whole nother blog in and of it's self. Next key point of the Chris Tomlin Concert, Louie Giglio spoke. It was the first time I have had the privilege of hearing him speak and I could see what all the hype was about. He was really good at making his point and driving it home. He spoke of Psalm 148."Praise the Lord." and praising the Lord, all the star, animals, angels, creatures of the sea. It was very good and I had never really thought about that psalm much before. He played some radio frequencies from stars jillions of Miles away in outer space. SO COOL! I have always loved star gazing but never thought that a star might make a sound and the rotate eleven or a million times on its axis per second. It makes a sort of rhythm kind of sound. Then he played whale singing. I don't know if you have ever watched a video of whales singing, but whale quite frankly are very adorable when they sing. So he tried to give us a little Minuit glimpse of what all the heaven and earth praising the Creator might sound like. He got out his ipad(of course) and used a sound board ap to add them all together then slowly it started to sound like How Great is Our God and every one in the audience stood up and started singing along, POWERFUL. All in all I recommend every one go to a Chris Tomlin concert before they die=)
K, So church this morning. The topic was Reaching Out in Jesus. Telling people they are lost. It is an uncomfortable topic. I would imagine it is uncomfortable for most Christians. No one likes to think of Hell or people going to Hell, not just the bad guys but possibly friends, our first grade teacher, loved ones. Needless to say we were all squirming in our seat in the college class. Christ, however, in John chapter 4 cut right to the chase when he was talking with the Samaritan woman. His second sentence was about salvation. What if we all were like that? I feel it is on us when we allow those we know to be lost. To never mention our Savior to them. That is all on us and I don't want to face God one day and try to explain why I let those i care for go with out knowing the truth. The crazy lady I work with go with out hearing the good news. So what if we told EVERYONE! Would there be a difference in this world? CHYEAH! I would like to think so.
"If Christianity was only about finding a group of others to live life with, who shared openly their search for God and allowed any one regardless of behavior , to seek too, and who collectively lived by faith to make the world a little more like heaven, would you be interested?"-Hugh Halter and Matt Snag, The Tangible Kingdom.
First, the Chris Tomlin concert. One word. Powerful. I was reminded how powerful the human voice is when we allow our souls to open and freely flow and pore out cries of praise to our Almighty, All POWERFUL God. Christ mentioned that last night, we were one church, which I also felt powerful. He said we were "a mixture of flavors" all combining to be one powerful church in powerful worship. I liked that alot. Usually these days when someone asks what I am I simply say "a follower of Jesus Christ." then they say "no I mean what church do you do you go to?" and I say "well the church is the people, so I guess who ever I am with" which of course is not the answer they are wanting but it is true, isn't it? Growing up in a legalistic C.O.C. maybe I have a chip on my shoulder towards donminationalism. It erks me. but anyy whooo, that's a whole nother blog in and of it's self. Next key point of the Chris Tomlin Concert, Louie Giglio spoke. It was the first time I have had the privilege of hearing him speak and I could see what all the hype was about. He was really good at making his point and driving it home. He spoke of Psalm 148."Praise the Lord." and praising the Lord, all the star, animals, angels, creatures of the sea. It was very good and I had never really thought about that psalm much before. He played some radio frequencies from stars jillions of Miles away in outer space. SO COOL! I have always loved star gazing but never thought that a star might make a sound and the rotate eleven or a million times on its axis per second. It makes a sort of rhythm kind of sound. Then he played whale singing. I don't know if you have ever watched a video of whales singing, but whale quite frankly are very adorable when they sing. So he tried to give us a little Minuit glimpse of what all the heaven and earth praising the Creator might sound like. He got out his ipad(of course) and used a sound board ap to add them all together then slowly it started to sound like How Great is Our God and every one in the audience stood up and started singing along, POWERFUL. All in all I recommend every one go to a Chris Tomlin concert before they die=)
K, So church this morning. The topic was Reaching Out in Jesus. Telling people they are lost. It is an uncomfortable topic. I would imagine it is uncomfortable for most Christians. No one likes to think of Hell or people going to Hell, not just the bad guys but possibly friends, our first grade teacher, loved ones. Needless to say we were all squirming in our seat in the college class. Christ, however, in John chapter 4 cut right to the chase when he was talking with the Samaritan woman. His second sentence was about salvation. What if we all were like that? I feel it is on us when we allow those we know to be lost. To never mention our Savior to them. That is all on us and I don't want to face God one day and try to explain why I let those i care for go with out knowing the truth. The crazy lady I work with go with out hearing the good news. So what if we told EVERYONE! Would there be a difference in this world? CHYEAH! I would like to think so.
"If Christianity was only about finding a group of others to live life with, who shared openly their search for God and allowed any one regardless of behavior , to seek too, and who collectively lived by faith to make the world a little more like heaven, would you be interested?"-Hugh Halter and Matt Snag, The Tangible Kingdom.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Food and Football
Ok. So now I know what to blog about=)
As I was sitting in my algebra class just a brief moment ago, a guy in my class (who just so happens to be on the A State football team) was talking very loud, as he normally does, about more funding for the football team. He was arguing with two other guys how they need new jerseys. How it is ridiculous that they have Adidas products, "what are we, in high school?!" this angered me. Is that wrong that it bothered me? In high school I too wanted better equipment for our basketball team, but it was all out of vanity. Not because it would improve our playing abilities. But now my world view has changed quite a bit and and I feel money spent on meaningless things is stupid when there are children starving.
So I asked him, "would new jerseys make you guys win ball games?" which the guys he was having a convo with found extremely funny. But honestly, if it is only for looks sake should our university spend money on it? Since they have scholarships and don't have to pay for their college should football players be expected to buy new jerseys if they want them so badly? The guy proceeded to answer my question"welll ummmm they are so big. If we had smaller tighter jerseys it might make us faster." Really? Seriously? Grrr what is wrong with our world. if we all lived with in our means and looked out for one another there would be less poverty. right? any ways that's whats on my mind=)
As I was sitting in my algebra class just a brief moment ago, a guy in my class (who just so happens to be on the A State football team) was talking very loud, as he normally does, about more funding for the football team. He was arguing with two other guys how they need new jerseys. How it is ridiculous that they have Adidas products, "what are we, in high school?!" this angered me. Is that wrong that it bothered me? In high school I too wanted better equipment for our basketball team, but it was all out of vanity. Not because it would improve our playing abilities. But now my world view has changed quite a bit and and I feel money spent on meaningless things is stupid when there are children starving.
So I asked him, "would new jerseys make you guys win ball games?" which the guys he was having a convo with found extremely funny. But honestly, if it is only for looks sake should our university spend money on it? Since they have scholarships and don't have to pay for their college should football players be expected to buy new jerseys if they want them so badly? The guy proceeded to answer my question"welll ummmm they are so big. If we had smaller tighter jerseys it might make us faster." Really? Seriously? Grrr what is wrong with our world. if we all lived with in our means and looked out for one another there would be less poverty. right? any ways that's whats on my mind=)
Finaly a Blogger
Ok. So I am not exactly sure what I should be doing with this. Several people have suggested I start a blog, so, here I am. Apparently I have much to say in a rather interesting and entertaining way. I guess that is up to whom ever decides to read this. I am not sure I want to reveal a lot about myself but that might be odd or creepy so I will just let myself come out in my writings. Deal? K that sounds good to me=) any ways. OH! one final thought before I click "publish post" I am a follower of Christ, It is the most important roll I do and will ever play in my entire life. k=) Nos Vemos
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